Lords of the Internet
by Cleverdan22
Summary: The villains from around the internet and TV have come to Free Country, USA. Can the heroes stop them? HomestarZimBonus Stage crossover. I do not own any of these franchises.
1. Chapter 1

Lords of the Internet

Captured

It was a peaceful day in Free Country USA. Everything was normal. Pom Pom was hangin' with the girls, Strong Bad checking his e-mail senders, and Homestar was working desperately to outsmart a beetle.

"Man. This thing is like, the…Magician…Guy." Homestar was in the field, closely watching a beetle. He was trying to trap a beetle in a pen of pebbles. And yet, despite Homestar's best attempts, the beetle always managed to escape via the gaping hole in the pen that Homestar always left accidentally. He just couldn't understand. "I will best you, my exoskeleton beawing fwiend. Oh, I will."

Strong Bad was at his desk. "There. I answered the stupid 'Boxing Gloves' question. Happy?!? Groooaan…" It had been a slow week for him. "Man, that was like, my only e-mail today. Normally I have like 50 in my inbox. Ugh. I need some thing to spice this show up. Oh! I know!" Strong Bad shouted out: "Hey Strong Sad, c'mere! You too Strong Mad! And bring The Cheat!" They all approached. "Strong Mad. The Cheat please." Strong Mad handed him to Strong Bad.

"Mehhh?" The Cheat asked apprehensively.

"Awww, don't worry, the Cheat, I'm just gonna…THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW!!!! HA HA HA HAAA!!!!" The Cheat went flying out the window. "Okay, now before you get mad at me Strong Mad, I want you to punch Whiney McDorkle over there as hard as you can.

"GRAAAHHH!!!" Strong Mad belted Strong Sad in the stomach. Strong Sad sailed through the doorway.

"Big Guy, leave." Strong Bad ordered. Strong Mad left. "BWA HA HA!!! Oh MAN, that was great. Ohhhh." Strong Bad chuckled. "I bet you all the e-mails from all the ladies are literally pouring in right now. "Alrighty, lets see here…" He typed "strongbademail.exe" into his Lappy. "WHAT!?! NO E-mails! How is this possible??? I'm a real funy guy!!!" Strong Bad yelled in indignation. "I'm making a complaint to the King!" Strong Bad took off at high speed.

Homestar was still watching his beetle. "Man, I just can't owtsmawt this guy." Homestar mumbled. "I know! I'll ask the King fow help!" Homestar dashed away like only a Runner can.

Homestar met up with Strong Bad on the way. "Oh, hey, Stwong Bad, you going to see the King too?"

"Yeah man, my fans aren't sending me any e-mails!"

"I don't blame 'em." Homestar said under his breath.

"What was that, Doofus?"

"Um, nothing." Homestar replied quickly. "I'm going because-"

"Yeah, don't care at all." They commenced running.

They both arrived at the castle at the same time. For some reason, it was painted black. "Ummm…has the King gone Goth?" asked Strong Bad.

"I doubt it Stwong Bad. I think he's applying a more sentimental touch, to symbolize the wondowous feeling of the pitch black night."

"Whoa. That was pretty cool." Strong Bad caught himself. "Uh, I mean, sure is a long sentence for you Homestar!" he added mockingly.

"Yeah, I wead it in a home decow magazine!"

"Of course." They started to approach the castle. Five knights, all identical to the one they thought the KOT had, came forth.

"Halt! Who dares to approach the mighty king's castle?" they all asked at once.

"Uhhh…I'm dwawin' a blank." Homestar said.

"Strong Bad and Homestar! Whassa matter, you got a bone to pick with us?!?" Strong Bad yelled defiantly.

"Umm...yes!" The knights charged. Homestar and Strong Bad put up a good fight, what with Homestar's karate and Strong Bad's former wrestling career, but they were out numbered, and soon found themselves tied up and being dragged into the castle.

"This is not good!" they both cried.


	2. Chapter 2:Bonus Stage

Going on Vactation (Sort Of)

Somewhere in a digitized universe, a man with orange hair was sneaking around. "Okay. I made have killed myself, but anything can happen in Bonus Stage." said Phil. "So apparently I came back to life. Oh well, I guess I can search dead Joel's wallet for cash." He fished it out from Joel's pocket.

"Hey, could you put that back after you're done stealing?" came a voice.

"AAAAGGGGHHH!!!" Phil screamed. A realization hit him. "JOEL!!! But you – dead - uhh…how?"

"You see, it all has to do with Evil. You see, he-." Joel started to answer.

"Wait. You're season one Joel. Evil doesn't come in until a later season."

"That's because… I AM LATER SEASON JOEL!!!" And he transformed into the latest season version of Joel as a circlet of energy zoomed over him.

"Wow. That contained all the stupidity of Danny Phantom."

"Shut up Phil. You're a retard. We've got to go get Evil and smash in his stupid face. He must have caused the destruction of this show."

"Ummm…sure. That. Definitely him."

They soon reached Evil's lair. They found a note on the door. It read, "Gone to another website. Plotting to destroy you is too boring in this cruddy town. To find me, think E-mail.

Love, Evil.

PS: SB"

"Umm..okay. E-mail." pondered Phil. "And SB, hmm… What about AOL?"

"No… what about MSN, or Yahoo, or maybe Hotmail?"

"Wait. Evil wouldn't like those places. He would go to another cartoon. Somewhere big. Popular. It would have a fortress. And…E-mail." thought Phil.

"Yes!!! Of course! I know! He went to Geoweasel!"

"I was thinking more along the lines of Homestar."

"Oh yeah. I guess that's a possibility too. Well, before we find him, we must go on a huge quest to find the legendary Life Jewel to get everyone on Bonus Stage back alive to help us with our quest!" Joel proclaimed.

"Or we could not, because all the characters on this show are amazingly stupid." retorted Phil.

"Exactly!"

"You are too, I mean, I only brought you because you're the closest thing I have to a scientist."

"Right! Okay Phil, hurry up! We've got to get into the Internet Time and Space Travelergig!" They quickly ran to Joel's lab.

"Umm…Joel? About this machine. Uhhh…it's a box. Actually, its not only a box, it's a box with the words, "Transmogrifier," "Duplicator," "Time Machine," and "C.T.S.T." crossed out, with I.T.S.T. written on it. What does C.T.S.T. stand for?"

"Comic Time and Space Traveler. A tiger appeared here, said he was sick of it and gave it to me. I gave it a few modifications. Now quick, put your Vortex Goggles on. We're going on vacation to Free Country USA, to hunt down Evil! Which I guess means it's not a vacation. It's actually the complete opposite. Whatever." Joel mashed the "Go" button and they took off into the dimensions of the Internet.


	3. Chapter 3: Inside the Castle

**Inside the Castle**

Strong Bad was brought to consciousness by the feeling of cool wind. "Gahhh!" exclaimed Strong Bad. "Who's doing that?"

"Oh, hey Stwong Bad."

"What? Homestar! You were blowing in my ear!"

"Oh, hey Stwong Bad."

Strong bad tried to get off the ground, but realized something was wrong. He was tied to Homestar. "Why the crap am I tied to you? And where the crap are we?!?"

"I think we'we in the King's castle, in a dungeon."

"How'd you know that?"

"I wead the sign in fwont of the cell."

"I didn't know you could read!"

Far away, at her house, Marzipan paced worridley around the living room. "Homestar said he went to outsmart the beetle, but he should have given up by now. Maybe Pom Pom will know where he went." Marzipan went down to the Stick, where Pom Pom and Strong Sad were playing Trivial pursuit on the ground.

Marzipan approached and said to Pom Pom "Have you seen Homestar?"

Pom Pom bubbled the negative and told Strong Sad that he was missing.

"I know, I'm sitting right here. You probably didn't notice though."

Pom Pom bubbled once more.

"Oh right. Homestar. Well, maybe you and Pom Pom should go check at the King's castle." Pom Pom and Marzipan took off. "You know, because he has a tower that can see far and…oh, you're gone. Of course…"

As they approached the castle Pom Pom and Marzipan realized something was wrong. The Poopsmith was gone from his pile of Whatsit. The five knights that captured Strong Bad and Homestar were standing in front of the castle. Pom Pom took them out in two bounces. Marzipan headed in the front, and Pom Pom went around back to look for another way in.

Marzipan walked down the hall, with an eerie sense of foreboding in her as she walked down the hall. It wasn't everyday that the King had evil looking paintings of himself looming down at you. Suddenly, slowly, she heard a faint whisper of a voice, growing louder as she walked.

"Ohhhhhh… I wish I was a cotton man, a cheesy boy of eggs and a wotten dude!" "Augghhhh!!!! Cut it out Homestar!!!!"

"Homestar!" Marzipan dashed down the hallway where the absurd sound was coming from.


	4. Chapter 4: Zim's Diabolical Plan of Doom

Zim's Diabolical Plan of Doom

"GIR!!! Get down here!" screamed Zim, an evil alien bent on conquering the world, who was working hard in his underground base.

"Yes Sir!" came a robotic reply. "Oooo…What's that?!?" screeched GIR, Zim's (not quite obedient or intelligent) robotic henchman.

"This is a chip, which I have named 'the Chip of Doom,' that I will install into those terrible, putrid, people thing's computers, which will allow us to infiltrate the 'Internet' and conquer them from the inside of their very own machines!!! Ahahahahahaha!!!!" GIR was asleep. "Wake up GIR; I'm installing the chip now."

"Wait…Wait!...WAIT!!!! I have to get my stuff!"

"Like what? What possible things could a robot need on a – Oh Geez!!!" GIR had pulled out a suitcase containing a rubber moose, 10 burritos, 8 DVDs, a tea cup, 5 cookies, and a live pig. "GIR! Put that stuff away now!!!" GIR sniffled pitifully. "Rrrghhh…fine. You can keep the pig. Alright, we're ready to go. I've set the security on 'high', in case the Dib-worm tries to snoop around while I'm not at my base."

"YAY!!!!" GIR screamed. " 'Kay, lets go into the box now!"

"I am activating the chip…NOW!!! We are going to cyberspace!!!"

"Woo!!!"


	5. Chapter 5: Arriving

Arriving

"Well, we're here!" announced Joel.

"Yeah, but, where is here? All I see is a black castle. And knights. In black armor. They're unconscious. On the ground." stated Phil.

"Aren't all nights black?" questioned Joel. "And can they really be conscious?"

"Not nights, knights! K – N – G- H- ah forget it. Let's go in." "Say, why do you think that this castle is black?"

"I think he's applying a more sentimental touch, to symbolize the wondrous feeling of the pitch black night."

"Where did that come from?"

"I read it in Home Decor Monthly."

"You don't subscribe to that."

"Quiet. It's time."

"Time for WHAT?!?"

"A plot is about to start."

"How would you know???"

"I read the script."

"What – Uh oh." Phil interrupted himself. A green alien and a small robot appeared about 30 yards away from them with a giant explosion.

"Let's go talk to it." said Joel. "Maybe it's friendly."

"Space aliens that appear dramatically are never friendly! Don't you read science-fiction?!?"

"I only read Home Decor Mothly. And scripts." Joel approached the alien.

Before he could say anything, the alien shouted "YOU! Oddly shaped human! I am Invader Zim, of the Irken Army. Tell me where the ruler of this realm is!" 

"Umm…I would guess that he would be in that giant imposing castle with the banner that says 'Ruler of this Realm'. But that's just a guess."

"Thank you, pig. I will be laughing as you are annihilated. Truly an honor. GIR! _Entertain_ them."

"M' kay." The robot replied.

Phil's eyes glowed and Joel took out his bat, ready for action. GIR started juggling and singing a song about bologna.

"What the…" Phil murmured.

"AUGGGHHH!!!! ARRGGHHH!!!! Terrible, just HORRIBLE!!! His pitch is WAY off!!!" cried Joel.

"Well, he seems to be imposing a huge threat. Let's go," said Phil. 

"Wait! Can I come with you???" GIR shouted.

"Um, I guess so. We do need a new robotic cast member since Rya died." Phil said. "Wait. You don't make sarcastic comments all the time, do you?" Phil asked.

"Yes. No. Wait! Yes! I mean NO! I mean YES, NO, YES, NO!!!" ding "No."

"Good enough for me."


	6. Chapter 6: Breaking and Teleporting

Breaking and Teleporting

Dib approached the door. He had easily taken down the security gnomes with his dad's laser beam that Dib had "borrowed." He turned the knob and rolled inside, ready for action. Dib looked around. There wasn't anyone there, not even GIR, who would normally be watching TV.

"Huh. I guess he's in the lab." Dib stood inside the trash can. He took out his tape recorder and mashed "play."

"Computer!" Zim's voice screamed out of the recorder, "Take me to the lab!" Dib was lowered.

"Wow! The base! I'm going to investigate…and, stop talking to myself…" Dib walked around in wonder until he came to the computer. There was a large green button beside it. Curious, he pressed it. There was a flash, and Dib was gone.

Seconds later, Dib appeared with an explosion in a lush, green field. "What is this, Zim!?! What have you done???" he screamed. He stopped yelling in protest for a moment, and looked around and saw a black castle looming in the distance. "Oh yeah. That's promising," Dib sarcastically commented. Nevertheless, he walked off in that direction.

He was looking at five knights, slowly getting up from the ground. "Huh. I don't like the look of this," he murmured. He quickly made his way to the back of the castle. He suddenly heard crashing, followed by yelling and outraged bubbling. He didn't know why he knew what kind of bubbling was outraged bubbling, but he did. Dib quickly found and air vent and peered through it. He was looking at a fat king, dressed in black, and what appeared to be a shadow with eyes holding down a yellow and orange ball-looking thing.

"I've got to help him!!!"


	7. Chapter 7: Freedom

**Freedom**

Dib, being small of stature and large of head, fit himself into the ventilation duct. Nobody in the room was looking at him, so he crawled as silently as he could through the vent.

When he reached the end, he jumped down and cried, "Halt, villains!" The King of Town and Evil just stared at him, wondering who this boy was and why he was just standing there looking at them. Their surprise loosened their grip just enough that Pom-Pom managed to escape from underneath them and deliver a swift blow to KOT's groin.

"Doof!" KOT doubled over in pain. Pom-Pom and Evil traded blows while Dib hopped onto KOT's back and held him down. Pom Pom managed to score a good hit on Evil, which left him on the floor. Dib hopped up off of KOT just long enough for Pom Pom to kick him again, then they both ran out of the throne room.

"Who were those guys???" asked Dib. "And why were they after you?" Pom Pom bubbled his response.

"Yeah, I can't understand you at all. I bet I could build a translator! Could you take me to somewhere that has a lab? Any sort of technology?"

Dib didn't know it, but they were running off to Homeschool Winner's house.

* * *

Marzipan had reached Strong Bad and Homestar's cell. There was no guard, thankfully. 

"Homestar!" she cried. "I'm so glad I found you!"

"I must say I am, too, bwoom-lady."

"Yeah, yeah, boo hoo, teary reunion. Would you mind getting us out of here?!?!" Strong Bad yelled.

"Shh…not so loud, Strong Bad. I think I have something here…" Marzipan pulled out her eco-friendly burlap purse and rifled through it. "Aha! Here! Hedge clippers!" She tossed the hedge clippers through the bars of the cell.

"Grrgh." Strong bad struggled against the ropes. "I can't reach it. You try, Homestar."

"Okay. They fowgot to tie my awms, I can't see why." Homestar picked up the hedge clippers and cut the ropes that bound them together.

"YES! I'm free, ahahaha! No more being tied up to Homestar or-" Strong Bad looked around. "Oh wait. We're still in a cell. Holy crap! What now!"

"Wait!" Marzipan cried. I have an idea. Make it look like you guys are tied up again." She backed up and hid behind a corridor wall off to the side. A few minutes later, a guard came patrolling the hall. She waited until he had passed, then snuck behind him.

"Heeyah!" she cried as the guard crumpled to the floor. "Those toga-judo classes weren't for nothing, you know." She picked the keys off of the guard's belt, and then unlocked the cell door.

"YES! Again! Sweet Lady Freedom, let's make out! Again!"

"Mawzipan, I don't wemembew toga-judo classes."

"You were on another 'vacation' that week, remember?"

"Ohhhh, wight, the closet." They made their way out of the castle and took off running, but spied Pom Pom and a small boy some distance in front of them.

"Hey! Pom Pom! You're okay!" cried Marzipan. He turned around and bounced toward the group, with Dib following up behind him. Pom Pom explained the situation to Strong Bad, Marzipan, and Homestar, then introduced them to Dib.

"Wow! You're head is as big as mine! Finally!" cried Dib, looking at Strong Bad.

"Hey! Watch the mouth kid, or I'll show what these boxing gloves are for."


	8. Chapter 8: Dramatic Reveal

**Author's Note:** Sorry it's been so long since the last chapter, I've been really busy. I am however, going to try very hard to keep this updated regularly, because I like the story and the positive reception it's been getting. Enjoy the newest chapter, see you soon!

* * *

**Dramatic Reveal**

Zim had already left GIR behind to deal with Phil and Joel, so he didn't see GIR join up with them. He was walking toward the castle. When he got to the front entrance, the guards had regained consciousness and were about to head inside to look for the intruder when they saw Zim. They composed themselves and blocked his entrance to the castle.

"Fools!" You dare stand in the way of Zim!?" They slowly advanced towards him. "Stay back! I'll melt your faces! I'm seriously not kidding, you know!" They grabbed him and took him inside.

* * *

Phil, Joel, and GIR, however, had ventured deeper into the castle. They hadn't seen any more guards through their walk, which Phil found to be a little odd.

"This is a little odd," said Phil. "We haven't seen any guards." As he finished his sentence, a familiar voice carried down the hallway.

"Those frickin' losers! Where did they go?! I'll totally kick the crap out of them!"

"What the- Was that Evil?" whispered Phil.

"Yeah, seems like he's here after all. Quick, into that corridor!" commanded Joel. The group made a sharp right, and saw Evil running down the hall the opposite way they came.

"Nobody make a sound," said Phil. "I'm gonna sneak up behind him and try to take him out."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU!!" shouted GIR.

"Hey, what was that?" Evil questioned. He turned on his heel and started to approach the corridor where Joel, Phil, and GIR were hiding.

"Oh great, just wonderful. Turns out we don't need this piece of crap." Joel promptly grabbed GIR and threw him at Evil, knocking him out cold.

"Does that mean that you don't…want me??" sniffled GIR.

"Yeah, that's right. Moving on!" Joel started to drag Evil's body down the castle hallway, towards the exit this time, but Phil stopped him.

"That robot is all alone; we can't just leave him here like this! Show some charity, Joel! Look into your heart, and realize the correct choice is kindness."

"Since when are you guided by a moral code?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Leave the scrap heap and let's get out of here."

Phil picked up Evil's legs and helped Joel carry him out of the castle. GIR forgot that they existed and continued to walk through the castle. Phil and Joel took Evil out to a remote position in the area that was only marked by a stick in the ground.

"Alright Evil, who's in the suit?" questioned Joel. He wrenched the black cloak off to find…nothing.

"What the…?" Phil looked at the suit. "There's no one in here. What the hell happened?" Phil turned to Joel and they started to think up theories.

"Maybe a superintelligent microorganism is controlling the suit?" guessed Joel.

"Maybe whoever it is can turn invisible?" guessed Phil.

"Or maybe the suit is made of such pure evil that it's controlling itself," suggested another voice.

"Yeah, that might be a pos-HOLY SNAP! Evil's awake!" cried Joel.

"Thanks, Joel, I actually managed to figure that out considering HE JUST KICKED ME IN THE FACE!!" screamed Phil, shaking himself off and preparing for a fight.

* * *

Meanwhile, Zim was being held in a dimly lit room, strapped down to a table.

"Hey! Who's in charge here! No one restrains Zim and lives to see the next day!"

Suddenly, all of the lights snapped on, flooding the room with brightness.

"Hey! C'mon, I've got really big eyes! That hurt!"

"Keh keh keh keh…" A horrible cackle echoed through the room. Zim's eyes were still adjusting to the light, but when they finally came into focus, he saw a vision of pure horror. The King of Town's chef. The slanted eyes, the broad smile, and the chef's toque. He carried a rusty kitchen knife and never stopped smiling that creepy smile as he approached Zim.

"What the – Who are you??"

"Well, I used to be a simple chef. I was promoted recently though? You want to know what job I got? I'll certainly tell you. Keh keh keh… head torturer."


End file.
